A poem

We need to decide, pivot or die

the world’s on the line, pivot or die

souls as they cry

tragedies rise

destruction forthcoming, pivot or die.

Heavy handed tactics

rushing fanatics

cover up the eyes

destroy the worlds

with twisted lies and stories you hide

re-align, pivot or die.

  • I wrote this poem last week, I was really stressed. I still am to tell you the truth with all the bullies and stalkers out. I quit my job because of bullying co-workers and they are actually picking up papers on my newspaper route, they are that desperate. So… many of my poems are rather dark. Though, it’s all hopefully going to be over and the stalkers will find something to do after the election. Hope my readers are doing well (with the exception of the stalker and his friends). For you all, I hope you have a day full of blessings, enough so that you forget your bad intentions and begin to live your life.

11/2 – Games

Evil people playing twisted games

Ones for which they cannot refrain

All together as one they jump

Into the abyss of their own making

trudging further in a war of chance

believing their own self righteous arrogance

from badly motivated mouths

for money and clout.

Destroy the life of one

smear, castigate and manipulate

until all she has is gone

Understanding themselves to be so grand

the power of the world in their hand

However, life and truth don’t bend

to badly motivated lying men.

Good men triumph bad ones lie

using monetary greatness for alibis

only a shield to protect sins.

In that superficial way you can always win

you cannot worship God and Money.

Pick the vice and worry, honey

then stalking and manipulation is the only way

to make your wrongs stay hidden away.

Continue forward on this path.

It’s not funny, it’s not a laugh,

I feel bad for your distain

I’ve gone my whole life doing for others gain

but you got people believing your silly selfish farce

what a shame

How many will you lead into the darkness.

  • A bad poem written in the spur of the moment to those who are stalking me and manipulating and cornering me and lying and using what I have written for their advantage on the internet in support of stalkers, liars, abusers and others of much worse repute.

Saved poem

angel art black and white clouds
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

You are always good to a sinner like me

I am so thankful for your grace and company

You keep me safe from day to day

and keep me close when I fervently pray

and when bad choices bring to bare

the type of things that bring fear and despair

you hold my hand when I cry out in shame and regret

and lead me through the worst of it

To sing your praises is what I will learn to do

I will learn to follow you

and At the end of my rope your light comes to bare

you led me out of that pit of despair

Mental Wandering 7/15


She opened the door and walked out into the scorching early evening air. It was humid. The air combined with the heat was nearly unbreathable. Static and confined. A small breeze blew through, providing some relief and she heard the chirping of birds as they settled into their trees for the evening. The sounds of children laughing could be heard echoing throughout the neighborhood as they rushed home before the sky went completely dark. It was still too early to hear the constant sounds of thunderous subwoofers and yelling as night lurkers speed by trying to find a weakness to exploit, a drug to quell their inner demons, or someone to fulfill their lust. The loud chattering of drunks trying to find their way home from the bars was still a long way off. No, we were just on the cusp of the night.
She looked upward, and was treated to the beauty of long thin clouds opportunely scattered within the red and purple sky in a way that proved that God was truly a supreme artist first and foremost. As she stared, time marched on. Lighting a cigarette, she watched silently as the colors began to fade and the twinkling of far off stars slowly broke through the dimming light trails creating another picturesque ending to the day and marking the self-confinement of the narrow minded and blissfully ignorant masses in their homes. The moons glow went from pale to luminescent within the gloom of night. Truly beautiful in it’s own right. Then the night began to sing it’s terrifying song of madness and sin. A hypnotic melody. Beckoning it’s repeated lurkers to come out to play. Whispering to them that they should embrace the vast potential that the veil of darkness brings them. The light, now completely smothered by the immense darkness has fled and the chaos breaks out of it’s narrow confines and spreads across the world. It’s re-confinement still many hours away.

The fearful and ignorant sleep behind their locked divides hibernating while closing their eyes to truth and the busy, the adventurous and the damned come out into the world. I’ve traversed this world between light and darkness for as long as I can remember, my eyes open, not looking away, seeing things as they truly are. My hand is outstretched to God in sincerity, hope, and love and my body is tainted by the dark realities of this world. Filthy. My mind Scattered. My soul tattered and stained. Yet I stand. I struggle. I fight. Awaiting another beautiful sunrise each day.

Short Story Romance Quick attempt (no title)


IMG_0976*First let me say that this is not a great short story, but I decided to share it anyway. I apologize for typos.

Short Story by Casandra K.

The soles of my feet bleed and burned as I trudged towards Jake’s house. I was a complete mess. The inside of my nose was tickling slightly as I did my best to hold back the tears that threatened to burst forward and I was sweating from the excessive heat.
It had been a very long and unlucky day for me so far… However, it was my own fault for allowing so much of the implementation of our plans to hinge on my luck. I should have been more prepared. I could have allowed Jake to pick me up when he offered a few days earlier… but I didn’t.
“I’m such a moron,” I whispered aloud as I kept my eyes fixed on the asphalt just in case, I saw some more glass in my path. I didn’t want to cut my foot again.
It was a warm summer day, beautiful weather for a picnic by the lake but horrible for a barefoot walk on the blacktop superheated from the sweltering summer sun.
Well, the wounds on my foot may cauterize before long. After all, I’ve been repetitively burning my feet for quite a while now. I thought to myself attempting to find some sort of sick humor in my situation…. but it wasn’t working. I was tired, hot, thirsty and starting to feel dizzy from the long and painful walk.
Even so, I continued limping as quickly as possible using the refuge of the shadows cast by the trees that were randomly placed along the roadside to take some short breaks where the blacktop wouldn’t burn me, and I could get out of the sun. I knew the grass beside the road would have been cooler on my bare feet, but I wasn’t going to try that again. After all, that was how I got cut to begin with. It had to be early afternoon now and at least 95 degrees. I’d been walking without shoes since one of my sandal straps broke. It was quite tempting now to think the world was against me, but I wouldn’t allow myself to be that self-absorbed and cynical. I was getting close to Jake’s house… I’d be there soon, at least I kept telling myself that.
When I made it to the next shadow, I panted and wiped my forehead. Then I lifted my hand over my eyes and squinted scouting for the next shady spot to take a rest in. After I found it, I reached down and lifted my uninjured foot wiping off the small rocks and sand that had embedded into my skin. It didn’t feel very good but at least none of the pebbles hadn’t broken the skin. Then I lifted my other foot. Sucking in air to ready myself for a bit of pain, I gently tried to wipe as much of the dirt and tiny pebbles off the part surrounding my 2 large cuts and then did the same for the area that was still slowly leaking blood. The tiny rocks and the dirt were clinging to the wetness. It stung and hurt at the same time, a horrible combination. I did the best I could to clean the open wound. Then put my injured foot back down on my tiptoes and began to give myself an internal pep talk about moving to the next shadow. However just as I was about to go. I saw Jake’s truck pulling out onto the road ahead of me. It seemed I was as close as I had kept telling myself. The driveway was straight ahead and couldn’t be more than a couple min walk away… if I wasn’t shoeless and hobbling. He must have decided to leave to make sure I was okay. Undoubtedly, he had tried to call my cell phone, but it had been out of battery since before my shoe broke.
He sped quickly down the street as though he was racing somewhere but when he saw me, he hit the brakes and backed up. Normally, his facial expression would show a type of silent amusement at my attempts to reject his help, ignoring any warnings and trying to do everything on my own only to fail miserably… he’d try to hide it but I could see it in his eyes. It was almost like he found it cute that I tried. The look of amusement on his face at my failure usually drove me up the wall while simultaneously making him more desirable. It was a weird combination.
This time, as he pulled up though, he didn’t seem amused at all. He didn’t crack a smile and after he stopped his car beside me, his eyes seemed to be trying to figure out what the hell was going on. I didn’t blame him. This was outside the realm of what I expected as well. He seemed to get more tense by the second as he started to move his eyes downward from his open window towards my injured foot, I had my heel slightly off the ground so I could try to keep it as clean as possible and it wouldn’t cause me more pain, but I hate pity and I didn’t want him to realize that I hurt myself with my foolishness. So, I unthinkingly slammed my heel down into the pavement as quickly as possible. In a ditch attempt for him not to notice that anything was wrong. However, when my heel hit the asphalt, pain rippled upward. It was so bad that I couldn’t help but wince and my eyes began to fill with water.
I must not have been fast enough for him not to notice my foot or perhaps he had noticed the pain on my face before I did everything in my power to push my expression back to default. Because he quickly jumped out of his car with a frown on his face and lifted me up. I was going to protest but when I looked up at him, I saw no humor or amusement. His expression quite clearly conveyed concern and an unwillingness to deal with any more nonsense. I’d never seen him this irritated with me. He was always extremely tolerant of my idiosyncrasies and seemed to have a high threshold for stupidity… well, maybe not all stupidity, but at least my stupidity. However, this time it seemed that I had crossed some sort of line.
I bit my lip and whispered a heartfelt “Sorry. I didn’t mean to trouble you.” In fact, much of what I tried to do most times was because I didn’t want to trouble him but ultimately it seemed I always ended up being more trouble than if I had just relented to begin with. He sighed loudly as if to try to let out his tension, but the expression on his face didn’t change.
It was unbearable to see him upset, so I reached around his neck and hugged him as he carried me to his car. I was completely ashamed of myself for ruining our date. Honestly, I was a little scared he’d be tired of dealing with me after this. As we neared the passenger side of the car. He held onto me more strongly and bent forward freeing one of his arms and opening his car door then he set me on the passenger seat.
He knelt on the ground and began to lift my injured foot. I tensed and began vocally protesting but his frown deepened. His look told me in very plainly, that he would not tolerate any more foolishness. his intensity completely suppressed any more vocal resistance on my part and I fell silent cringing as he lifted my foot the rest of the way. He looked at it for a moment then closed his eyes and blew heavily outward like he was trying to stop himself from truly getting angry with me. It didn’t seem to work completely though because when he opened his eyes, he glared up into mine his hand still gently holding onto my injured foot.
“What in the hell were you doing? What were you thinking? Where are your shoes? Why aren’t you in your car? How did you get hurt? Why didn’t you call me? He barraged me with a bunch of questions too quickly to expect answers. Probably knowing I had no good ones to offer that would satisfy him. He was obviously venting. I didn’t know what to say. I knew I had been stupid. My frustration with the situation, with myself, and with inconveniencing him despite my intentions, was unbearable and in a further embarrassment to myself, without being able to help it, tears began falling from my eyes. It was wrong of me. I was the one who was at fault, but I couldn’t deal with my frustration and the fact that he was so mad at me.
He seemed to calm down quick. His irritation seeming to melt into a look of caring surrender to the reality of things even though I knew I deserved to be yelled at. He didn’t continue.
After a moment he looked back down at my foot and said, “This is going to hurt a little but I’m going to get some of the dirt and rocks off the bottom of your foot, we’ll have to wait to disinfect it till we get into my house.” he took a bottle of water out from inside his truck and grabbed a small make shift emergency first aid kit from his glove box.
I nodded quietly at his words, readying myself for the pain. However, first he let go of my foot and reached up to give me a hug. I was too hot and sticky for this, but I didn’t care and wrapped my arms around his back and whispered into his shoulder. “Thank you, Jake, I really am sorry. I am relieved you came to help me.” he squeezed onto me harder for a moment and then let go.
he picked back up my foot. Wiping the bottom of it off as gently as he could and then picked the few clinging rocks out that had embedded into my wound when I stupidly slammed my foot down. I cried out as he did that. But he did it as quickly and gently as possible.
We didn’t end up having a picnic that day… but we did become closer. While my foot healed rather quickly, the memory remained. Truth be told, I didn’t really change much from the whole ordeal, I continued trying to do most things without any help even when he offered and similarly, he continued to make my blood boil with that amused look in his eyes when my lone attempts ended in failure and I was forced to enlist his help. At the very least, I knew where the boundary for him was between amusement and irritation. Further, I knew that I had somehow stumbled upon a great man and that he genuinely cared for me. I felt truly blessed to have him by my side even if he irritated me to no end.

The End.

Random Thought 6/6/19:

Photo By Casandra K.

Random Thought: For a long time, I have seen it as a weakness for people to mentally entertain dreams or ideas that are so obviously beyond them for a variety of very real reasons. Normally I would not allow my impossible dreams to see the light and instead would kill them immediately upon feeling or thinking of them so as to not allow them to contribute to my personal despair. I think now though that I was wrong about this. I think giving mental form to an impossible dream is not a weakness and could even potentially be the opposite. It is what you do with that impossible dream or impossible personal ideal that cements it firmly into its category ranging from personal despair, weakness, and denial to personal hope, strength, truth and future possibility. The dream itself may be impossible but it can help you understand your own drives better and can help to illuminate truly possible goals and things to strive for. It can help give form to the path that will lead you to your most fulfilled state possible.

Quick Update

My schedule for work has been fluctuating a lot, so I’ve been tired cause my sleep schedule is all over the place. I’ve barely had time or energy to do anything but work and my thoughts have been erratic. I’m currently mulling over an idea for a potentially decent short story and I also wrote some trash not worth sharing… it was based on personal wishful thinking since I’m struggling with some things and really, it only served to make me angry with myself. So I decided not to share it, it’s just something to file away and forget.

I just wanted to let people know who are following my blog, that I will post again soon, I am not disappearing. I just have some circumstances right now that are conflicting with my ability to write decently with any type of coherence.  I’ll share on Wednesday again for sure since it’s my next day off from my full-time job (I thought about calling it my day job but I rotate between day and night, my other job is just very early mornings daily and it’s part-time). I may make a post before that if I am given some inspiration and have the time to write it down. Anyways, thank you for following and I promise to post soon. I just wanted to give a quick update in case anyone was wondering. I hope my blog followers have a good and creative day.